


Haunted Doll in our Hearts

by Rosadon3



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/M, Gen, I wrote this because it would not leave me alone until it was in writing, M/M, Slow Burn, Spoilers: Barry is the Haunted Doll, Taako likes thrift shopping, haunted doll au, idk where this train is going but join me for the ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23743972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosadon3/pseuds/Rosadon3
Summary: From the magnificent mind of Terezis on tumblr, I bring you the AU that haunts me: Barry is a haunted doll that Taako gets second hand and gifts as a gag to Lup. Lup discovers the possessed doll is pretty rad and is going to try and help him be not-a-doll anymore, in exchange for helping with her defense against necromancy class. They also have to dodge Taako's new boyfriend Kravitz, who teaches the class, and is very. very. against necromancy and so they should probably not mention the doll-possessed-by-a-former-necromancer living in their house. Join me for my first multi-chapter fic, it's gonna be a ride.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	Haunted Doll in our Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [terezis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terezis/gifts).



> https://terezis.tumblr.com/post/612231802030014464
> 
> it's haunted doll watch, but taz, and also romance the doll. Terezis has great ideas, I love them all.

Taako spotted it sitting lopsided on the top shelf of a dusty-ass shelf in the overcrowded thrift shop. The whole place was a disaster, which was partly why the Tres Horny Bois made a point of visiting it regularly. The shopkeep was a lovely, half-blind old man who loved telling the story behind each and every piece of junk he had come across. The three boys had loved the place instantly, (for varying reasons) and had made it a habit to visit every weekend. This meant they tended to buy at least one piece from the store a week. It  _ also  _ meant that anyone in their circle of friends was subject to gifts originating from the thrift shop.

Lup had made the mistake of complaining last time Taako had brought something home from the shop. Something about how he shouldn’t be wasting his money on worthless knick-knacks and things like that. And yeah, fair, but also who is she to call him out on his thrift shopping habits? Eventually he came up with the perfect idea: buy the worst gift possible for her, and present it as genuinely as possible. She might even fall in love with how absolutely horrendous the thing is. 

Taako picked up his prize from the top shelf, glad that it wasn’t covered in five layers of dust like some of the things in the shop. It was a Fantasy Mardi Gras doll, with a porcelain face and hands and cloth for the rest of the body. The outfit was purple, gold and green, solidifying itself as a gaudy party symbol. The painted face was creepy in only the way doll faces could be, but someone had taken it upon themselves to add little spectacles to this one. Still freaky though. Lup was gonna either love it or hate it, and either way, Taako would be happy. 

“Hey Mags!” Taako hollered across the shop, waving his hand above the shelves to give Magnus his location. “Check out this lil’ dude!” 

Magnus came speeding over, nearly toppling a precarious tower of books. He had a stuffed bunny under his arm, which looked like it had seen better days. If anyone mentioned it though, Magnus would call it “well-loved” and hold it protectively. 

Taako smiled and wiggled the doll in his hand. Magnus caught sight of it stopped in his tracks. “Aw, Taako you know I don’t like clowns!” He cradled the small bunny closer to him, frowning. 

Taako glanced at the doll again. Its porcelain white face with rosy cheeks could be kind of clown-like, he supposed. “Nah man, it’s supposed to be a jester or something I think. Either way, I’m getting it for Lup.” He tucked the doll under his arm, mimicking Magnus.

“Uh, cool,” he looked confused. “Lup… likes creepy clowns?”

“ _ Jester, _ ” he flicked the bell on the end of its pointy hat. “And Lup likes weird shit. Also, it’s not really about whether she likes it or not, just that it’s fucking weird.”

“Well. Definitely weird,” he eyed the doll suspiciously. “You sure it’s not also, like, cursed or some shit?”

Taako rolled his eyes as they maneuvered their way towards the front of the shop. “The old man hasn’t sold us anything cursed so far, why would he start stocking up now?”

“I’m just saying! That thing is  _ freaky _ .”

“Okay, yes Magnus, we’ve established it looks like a clown and you don’t like those.”

They got to the counter where Merle was leaning, haggling for some books he had picked out. Taako glanced at the titles, and determined they were all plant-related, to no one’s surprise. Magnus set his bunny on the counter and beamed at the shopkeep. 

“Hey Merle, what’s your take on the doll?” Taako set it on the counter next to Merle’s stack of books, then turned to dig through his bag for his wallet. 

Merle squinted at the doll. He readjusted his glasses. He muttered something, which may or may not have been actual words. He gave the doll a hesitant poke. Then, he loudly smacked the counter. “Shit’s haunted,” he nodded, turning back to his books. 

“Told you!” Magnus grabbed Taako’s shoulder and shook him. “That thing’s got spooky written all over it! And Merle’s a cleric, so he knows his spooky stuff.”

“ _ Allegedly _ a cleric,” Taako huffed, and put a crumpled five-dollar bill on the counter. “I’ll give you five bucks for the maybe-haunted doll.”

The old shopkeep, who had been listening patiently to their whole conversation, smiled and took the bill. “Sure thing, Taako. Good pick.” 

Taako grabbed the doll and dropped it in his bag, zipping it closed and swinging it over his shoulder. “You chucklefucks gonna buy your shit or just harass me about my taste in freaky dolls all day?”

\-------------------

Taako turned the lock to the apartment and let the door swing open. “LULU, I’M BACK, COME GET YOUR RAD GIFT!” He slammed the door behind him to punctuate his shout, and then tossed his bag on the table. Lup came out of her bedroom, distrust evident on her face.

“Gift?” She walked over to where Taako was digging through his bag. “Why did you get me a gift?” She looked at him and narrowed her eyes. “What did you do this time?”

“I didn’t  _ do _ anything, Lup,” he found the doll in his bag and lifted it out with as much flair as he could muster. “Unless you count buying you this hella cool doll. Which, I did.”

She stared at the doll, with its tiny porcelain hands and pointy shoes with bells on the end. Taako wiggled it for effect when she didn’t say anything. The tiny bells gave a sad jingle.

“ _ What the fuck is that. _ ” 

Taako rolled his eyes and pressed it towards her. “The best gift from your best brother, obvs. You’re always complaining about me buying stuff so I figured you were feeling left out.” 

Lup took the doll from him, going over its bright outfit and painted face. It clicked that this was a gag gift, and that she was probably  _ supposed _ to hate the thing, so she took it in stride. 

“You’re right, it’s wonderful,” she smiled and brushed it off, though there was little dust on it. “It should go somewhere  _ special _ .” 

With the most shit-eating grin she could muster, she proudly displayed the doll next to their TV, leaning it against the screen so that it would be in full view every time someone wanted to watch something.

Taako’s ears twitched ever so slightly, but didn’t give any other hint that this was not what he was looking for reaction-wise. “Yeah, that’s perfect. Glad you like it.” He grabbed his bag from the table and headed towards his room. 

“What? You’re not gonna admire it with me?” she laughed, trailing after him down the hall. “He can watch all our favorite shows with us! Oooh, I bet he’ll  _ love  _ Fantasy American Pickers!” she followed him to his room, until the door was unceremoniously closed in her face. She had  _ definitely  _ won that exchange, no doubt. And she was going to make sure she kept winning these, until Taako cracked and admitted to his gag.

But, until then, she returned to the living room and laid back on the couch, eyeing the doll that now sat next to the TV. She grabbed the remote and kicked her feet up. “You’re gonna love Fantasy American Pickers,” and winked and the doll, before sinking into the couch to listen to two old guys rave about old stuff found in warehouses. “Maybe we’ll find you a friend.”

She didn’t notice the doll as it fell forward a bit, almost as if to get a better view of the screen.


End file.
